The Sacred Center

This is the place where your true self dwells in communion with the Holy Spirit

We are caught in a web of deception and selfishness in our worldly false self.  It is only when the Spirit of God wakes us up to our true self that we discover both the beauty of Christ in his humanity and the perfection of Christ in our humanity.  The more one cooperates with the promptings of God's Spirit, the more one discovers their true self and experience a kind of spiritual blossoming.

It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we become more Christ-like and find that the full life is both fully human and fully spiritual at the same time.  The Holy Spirit makes us face our many illusions and wounded-ness as we bring it all to the foot of the cross.  We become more aware of our transgressions and faults before a Holy God.  We experience the liberating cleansing power of God to free us both of our sins and our bitterness towards others.

God joins together our inner life with our outer life and the two become one and bonded together.  Forgiveness, love, and generosity mark out lives in how we act towards others.  The old prison guards of our soul may be strong but the presence of God's Spirit is stronger to release us from our past and free us for tomorrow.  Christ is our sovereign center.

The Guest

"I'm afraid I haven't been fully honest with you"  -  David Collins from the movie "The Guest"

I do not watch many suspense horror movies but occasionally I do.  I rarely like this genre but I was happily surprised by this thriller action movie called The Guest.  It is about a soldier who visits a sleepy town and then the bodies start turning up.  I don't believe I have ever encountered the actor Dan Stevens before who played the stranger who is invited into a home of a dysfunctional family.  He is both engaging and scary, hypnotizing and brilliant.

Dan Stevens plays David Collins who actually starts helping this family with their many problems.  It actually looks like things are getting better when all the sudden crazy things start happening like the Dad's boss is found dead which means a job promotion.  Dan helps the youngest brother with bullying and the older sister with boyfriend troubles.  The Mom is helped the most in the grief and loss of her own son where David is like a link to their son who is now forever gone.

There is a kind of warning given in this movie of be careful who you invite into your home.  Our soul is a kind of home and we also invite guests into our soul whether friendly or not.  There are dark quests that hide their shadow side and try to enlarge our ego and attract our lower desires.  Then there is the guest of God's presence who gently enters our soul and calls us His own.  In one moment, the King arrives and the Bride finally realizes this is the one I have been waiting for all my life.  The King discloses Himself and the bride is lost in ecstasy.

Fr. Bede Griffiths - Listening to Rhythms of your Body, the Spirit of God, and the World

"My monastery is the world"  -  Fr. Bede Griffith

I have recently discovered the writings of Bede Griffith.  I am reading Bede Griffith: Life in Dialogue and a friend told me to watch a you tube video of Fr. Griffith called "Discovery of the Feminine."  We have focused so much on a masculine form of Christianity that we have missed the nurturing mother side of the faith.

I also love Bede's very creational, sacramental approach which deals with the mystery of God in us.  He profoundly says the body knows before the mind and the question is are we paying attention to what our body is trying to tell us.  There are patterns to the working of the Holy Spirit that penetrates our dark world and bring order out of the disorder.  Even in the darkness, annihilation often leads to resurrection.

Bede Griffith speaks about the wholeness of life which has many faces from darkness to light and suffering to ecstasy.  Griffith says,

"The hidden mystery behind all the pain and suffering and disaster of the world is a tremendous ocean of love.  And I am sure when we die we shall discover this ocean of love which is hidden from us now" (p.9).

"God has brought me to my knees and made me acknowledge my own nothingness, and out of that knowledge I have been reborn.  I was no longer the center of my life and therefore I could see God in everything" (p.45).

Whispers in the Wind

Does God just see beggars?
Wounded souls always asking and never satisfied but wanting more.
Torn hearts and desperate pleas for help.
Reaching for grace to quiet hungry souls.

Closed and forgotten and lost in time and space.
Does anybody see, does anybody care?
The brokenness deep down inside of me.
Bewildered and uncertain which way to go.
A voice speaks and calms all my fears.

Inspirer of my dreams and divine architect of my soul.
Secret passions and all consuming delight.
Hidden in the secret place of your unapproachable light.
Listening in the silence as You speak my name.
The storm rages on but calmness is everywhere.
The wind whispers that your grace is more than sufficient.

Graffiti of the Soul

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls"  -  Paul Simon

Even my prayers can seem like empty words.
I know God you are aware of my pain.
I know people who cut themselves just to feel again.
But Lord, you took all the world's cuts on the cross so we could feel your love.

I know people think I am wasting time praying but wasting time is the waist.
Praying is only wasting what should be left behind so make this temple ready.
My mind is crowded with too many thoughts but you speak in the lonely moments.
You leave nothing to waste Lord since you use everything.

The weight of the world is on my back but you hold the whole world in your hands.
I have no strength but you pour ointment on my wounds.
Deep inside you hear my cry when what others hear is only silence.
Hiding you find me.
Fleeing you stop me in my tracks.

I have wondered in the dark only to bump into the walls.
Now the cross is stretched out over my life.
No more hiding or running but just sitting in the dark waiting.
The wind of your presence knocks the breath from my lungs.
I am speechless before your Holy splendor.

Poem for the untamed Soul

In one lucid moment my glad soul was met by God's igniting love.
In a flash God consumed everything so that I would be unhindered.
God's unbounded love awakened me to the real world my eyes could not see.
But even here I could not comprehend how God was freeing and unshackling
every chain that tied me down.

My only aim is to love to do God's will for that is true freedom.
In the blinking of an eye God does more with a surrendered will than a world of tamed lives.
Eclipsed by the immensity of God's presence, paradise is in knowing the one who formed me from nothing.

Even when a soul is torn in two, God takes what is divided and unites what has been split apart.
My only solace is found in Christ who takes away the darkness and emptiness of my mind and gives me light that penetrates both joints, bones, and spirit.
Today, the only gift I could give to God is my tears.
And the gift God gives to me is His presence and that is enough.

Catechism on Prayer

The early church had catechisms which were an instruction book on how to grow as a disciple of Jesus and be a responsible member of God’s church.  God’s wants us to grow in holiness and prayer but most people are trying to do it without the wisdom of others much less the community of faith the church.  God wants to rule your heart.  What God is teaching me at the moment is if we are going to grow into a life of holiness it will only happen as God sanctifies our heart through prayer.

When it comes to prayer, prayer is God giving us His thoughts and then us praying God’s thoughts back to God.  Preparation of prayer is study of God’s Word, meditation in silence to listen to what God is speaking to us through Scripture and God’s Holy Spirit.  We often pray in Jesus name because Jesus asks us to ask anything in his name.  The problem is we pray all sorts of things and then simply end our prayers “in Jesus name.” 

Look at the prayers of Paul in his letters in the Newer Testament.  His prayers were all about Jesus and he did not end his prayers in Jesus name.  Prayers are praying God’s Word back to God.  Prayer is praying whatever God puts on your spirit back to heaven.  Heaven and earth are to collide in prayer and heaven wants heaven sent prayers to rain back on earth and not earthly prayers with heaven’s blessings added onto them.  So here are some instructions on prayer and what God has been teaching me.

1.  The secret of prayer is to know you don’t know how to pray.  Only God’s Spirit can teach you how to pray.  Only the spirit of Jesus can lead you into heaven’s throne room.  When you pray, ask God to teach you how to pray.  Ask God to give you more passion and love for Him and others.  Ask God to strip you of all pride and self-righteousness.  Confess your weaknesses to God and ask God to give you Christ’s righteousness.

2.  The other secret of prayer is to stop looking outside yourself and find what God has already placed within you.  Seek God with all your heart and if you look in your heart, you will find God there.  Jesus said “the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21).  God does not want you sweating in busy activity of prayer.  Prayer is more about being than doing.  It is a rest from striving and entering into God’s rest and peace.  Prayer may start with words but often it is in the silence that God does His greatest work in us.

3.  Prayer must be focused on God in Christ.  Breathe in Christ.  While you pray, begin focusing on your breathing.  Exhale distractions and worries.  Inhale Christ and his love and peace.  Exhale your bad feelings and negativity.  Inhale God’s goodness and beauty.  Let the peace of Christ invade your soul.  For too long we have let the enemy invade our soul with negative and destructive thoughts.  Ignore the enemy and focus on loving Christ.  You won’t have to resist the Devil if you are already submitting yourself to God.  By submitting yourself to God, the Devil will have to flee (James 4:7).

4.  Let Jesus lead you in prayer.  Jesus disciples were taught from childhood as Jewish boys how to pray but when they heard Jesus pray, they suddenly knew they did not know how to pray.  So they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray and then he taught them.  Ask Jesus to teach you how to pray.  What is difficult for you is easy for him.  What seems impossible for you is possible for him.  Embrace Christ completely in your prayers.  Embrace pain and suffering in your prayer, do not try to avoid, manage, ignore, or hide your fears, distractions, or pain from God.  Like the Psalmist, take all of these in prayer to God and let Jesus carry them and leave them with Jesus.  Do not take them back upon yourself.  Completely surrender yourself to God and keep surrendering everything to God.

5.  Pray with open arms and ask God for His grace.  Whatever God puts on your heart, do it immediately in obedience.  You will discover that simply entering the posture of opening your arms to God fills you with God’s grace and presence.  Pray for God to show you the “unseen” things to you.  God will show you both the glories of heaven and many self-deceptions and illusions created by your own pride.  Pray the ancient prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”  Repeat it over and over but very slowly.  Concentrate on every word.  Pronounce Jesus name with all love and reverence and speak it out loud.  As God begins to slowly fill your heart, you will continue this prayer in silence since you will begin say it with your mind and spirit and not with your vocal chords.  God’s pleasure and love will fill your soul and the more you practice this prayer, the more God will teach you about his mercy and grace.  Understand when you say “have mercy on me,” the “me” also means “all of us.”  The me means me and everyone else around me.  The me means me and every other person who surrenders their life to God.  The prayer is about Christ, others, and lastly about me.  When we take the “I” out of prayer, God begins to really change us from the inside out. 

6.  Let God through prayer occupy first place in your life.  In prayer we learn to die to ourselves and live for Christ.  In prayer I do not have to think about hell or heaven.  I only ask God to have mercy on me and every one in the world.  My focus is on Christ, not myself. Prayer is not a work I do but becomes a work that God is doing in me.  When we raise our arms, visualize Christ giving you his grace.  Abandon yourself completely to Christ and let the Holy Spirit pray through you.  Sometimes you won’t even use words in prayers.  You will just give God all your emotions and then God will answer and respond by giving you all His emotions.

7.  Pray with a sanctified imagination.  Some people pray with icons which are pictures of Jesus life, death, and resurrection.  An ancient Christian practice to sanctify our imaginations (which we often imagine the wrong things) and give us spiritual strength for the day was to spend 15 to 30 minutes visualizing yourself in heaven.  Imagine yourself around the throne of God in Revelation chapter 4.  Picture yourself with all the saints and angels giving God praise and shouting “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come.”  Picture yourself sitting in Daddy God’s lap and telling him your deepest desires or secrets of your heart.  Picture yourself running to Jesus and throwing yourself at his feet or simply Jesus hugging and holding you like a brother.  Start imagining what God already sees.  Faith sees before it happens (Romans 4:17).  Faith believes and acts like it has already received (Mark 11:24).  This kind of faith is unshakable and believes God can remove the greatest obstacle (that seems like a mountain).  In your breathing, visualize your exhaling as giving God all yourself and love.  When you inhale, visualize God giving all His love back to you.  Every breath is a gift from God that fills us with gratitude.

8.  Self-examination should always come before confession in your prayers.  Do not depend upon yourself to see clearly or know yourself.  Depend on God for the discovery and knowledge of your sins.  As God reveals and shows you things, acknowledge them and then embrace them by embracing God.  You do not have to fight your battles for the Lord God will fight your battles if you come with surrender and complete trust that God really knows better than you do.  When we strive to die to things, it is a great chore and monumental challenge.  When we allow God to kill the things in our lives, expose them by the light of His Holy Spirit, and the destruction of self, then our burdens become light as Christ carries them on the cross for us.  The cross of Christ and dying daily to ourselves then becomes a beautiful part of the spiritual life and not a difficult burden.

9.  For prayer to be fruitful, we must renounce all our activity and self-righteousness.  We must ask God to fill us daily with His life giving Spirit and empty our self of trying to come to prayer on our own terms or our own agenda.  Humility, Honesty, and our Heart is what God desires.  Our soul must become completely still.  “Be still and know God” (Psalm 46:10).  When we cease from our activity, God begins His activity.   It’s in the stillness we die to ourselves and everything in the world and we are made alive by the Spirit of God and resurrected as new creatures to tasting the first fruits of a heavenly life on earth.

10.  Meditate on the prayers of the saints and let them instruct you.  Pray the Psalms.  Read them out loud walking or standing.  Let every sentence burn in your heart.  Feel every emotion that is being expressed.  Let the Psalms become your prayers.  Pray the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6.  Find others to memorize this prayer and pray it with two or three others in unison.  In doing so you are inviting the presence of Jesus to be in the middle of your prayer.  Pray the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. 

“Lord, make me a channel of your peace;

Where there is hatred, may I bring love;
Where there is discord, may I bring harmony;
Where there is error, may I bring truth;
Where there is doubt, may I bring faith;
Where there is despair, may I bring hope;
Where there are shadows, may I bring light;
Where there is sadness, may I bring joy;
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
To understand, than to be understood;
To love, than to be loved;
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life. 
Amen.”

When a word or phrase draws or grips you, stop, and simply keep repeating it in your heart.  Let it wash over you like the waves of an ocean.  Let’s say the word is “Lord,” just let the word sink in.  I empty myself, please be my Lord.”  “I trust you as Lord, help my unbelief.”  “I’m so used to being in control, I surrender myself to you.”  “Help me to make you Lord.”  As you pray the prayer, keep repeating the process as the Lord leads you.

 

A Tribute to Sam

"Play it again Sam" Humphrey Bogart movie

I had the privilege today of speaking some words of a remarkable man, Sam Grider.  His love and reputation of challenging people to love Jesus more is known by many in my area.  Sam's life was like George Bailey in the movie It's a Wonderful Life.  George Bailey discovered that true wealth was in helping and loving your neighbor and making a lasting difference in the lives of the people around you.  George Bailey felt like a failure when he thought he was losing his family business only to discover the mystery of God's love and providence in his staying in his hometown rather than leaving it.

Sam Grider on the other hand is a man whose life changed drastically twenty years ago.  He had major seizures that continued on for the rest of his life and disabled him in his use of his hands, body, and legs.  He walked with great effort and he had to relearn how to use his left hand because his right one simply did not work anymore.  Sam went through a series of major surgeries as well as battling cancer repeatedly.  Someone might think Sam's life was cursed rather than a blessing; a mistake rather than being wonderful.  But Sam had this contagious love for Jesus he shared with everyone.  In his weaknesses, Christ triumphed greatly in Sam's life.

There are several words that hung on Sam's wall that I will remember for a long time.  One was "We need to learn to see ourselves as God sees us----one of His children."  The other is, "A Bible falling apart often belongs to someone who isn't."  Sam's Bible in his casket was all used up and falling apart.  Even though Sam's body fell apart from disease, his spirit never ceased to shine and illuminate everyone around him with peace.  We will greatly miss you Sam as you have finished the race and have received an eternal crown of glory.

The Holy Other

God's radiant light fills more than the colors of the rainbow.  God's holy presence whispers to our inner ear and enlivens our heart with God's goodness and grace.  God knows everything about us.  He knows our shortcomings, our wounds, our dreams and our failures.  God knows it all yet His holy presence shines in love towards each of us.

God touches my ears with celestial music and awakens my heart with celebration.  Miracles are all around for those who have eyes of faith to see.  The Spirit of God radiates everywhere and my path is illumined with peace to walk free of fear.  God is taking me to places unknown to me but since God is with me, his calmness encircles me.

God takes my arrogance and transforms it into humility.  God takes my defiance and turns it into reverence.  My black and white life is now Technicolor by the Spirit of the Living God.  Divine wisdom guides my path and God establishes truth, beauty and goodness before me.  The only way to know inner joy is to discover your true self in Christ.

God is removing the veil that separates and partitions creation from ourselves.    God is moving the ground under my faith as He lifts my soul to heaven.  Christ is the center of gravity as I breath and flow in God's waters of divine love.  The whole universe is filled with miracles and with the sacrament of God's holy presence.

Will Animals Be In Heaven?

"My parents told me animals will not be in heaven but I think they will" ( said to me by a young girl yesterday)

Will animals be in heaven?  What about my pet dog?  My dog died last week and a group of children started talking about the loss of their pets and would they see their pet in heaven?  To young children, this is an important question and to serious adult pet people, it may be a serious one to them as well.

One precious young girl said this to me yesterday in regard to death and people and pets.  "If you carry them in your heart then you take them to heaven with you.  If they are in your heart, they are with you forever."  I'd rather hear the theology of children at times than the more "mature" adult ways of thinking on topics such as these.  I love children and how they think at times amazes me in their profound simplicity and child-like wonder and awe of God's universe.

When we think of animals being in heaven, one response is the Bible is silent.  We do not really know definitely one way or another.  But if one digs a little deeper into Scripture, it is interesting how important animals are from creation to Christ's birth to new creation.  We have a great cloud of witness of saints who have already died as the writer of the book of Hebrews says but we also have a great cloud of witnesses of animals that have surrounded us from the beginning.

If God saved the animals on the ark, who knows about heaven?  And if one thinks about heaven, is not the new heaven and new earth joined together?  If might be hard to think of animals in heaven for some folks but nobody has difficulty thinking of animals on earth or a new earth. 

All I know is all of creation is united together by God's love so like the little girl who spoke of her love for animals, I suspect we will experience animals in a greater way just like we will experience relationships in a greater way in heaven or should I say a new heaven on a new earth.

Midday Prayer

O life Giving Creator,
Blessed is the man who knows himself in Christ.
By this knowing illuminate the world with your presence.

Guide my heart to feel your heart.
Guide my mind with your thoughts.
Guide my soul touched by your grace and Spirit.

O heavenly Master,
Reflect in me your love.
Let others recognize Your Spirit in me.
Adorn me with your wisdom and birth in me new life.

Remind me of your presence always.
Remove any falsehood from within.
Guard my life until that day I see you face to face.

Abandonment to God

A book on my "want to read some day list" is Oswald Chambers biography Abandonment

to God. We want to be abandoned to God but the cross also means we have to go through abandonment.  It only through abandonment that we get to know Christ fully.

We see this modeled in the life of Israel that knew abandonment in three stages or movements.  The first was their calling where they experienced revelation and grace from God.  Then they went through a withdrawal of God's grace where they were wounded, felt deserted by God, and suffered great inner loss and pain.  Finally Israel experienced a return to God from separation to union with God.

God continually works through this painful process that both purifies and restores, empties and heals.  Crucifixion comes before resurrection and abandonment before close union with God.  The first movement of God's Spirit within us is repentance which eventually leads to intercession for others.  Prayer for others may be prayer for one particular person or may be for the whole world.

My prayer today is simply this to God:

"I offer myself to you O God.
To You and all I am and all I have.
I'm completely Yours God.
Do with me whatever You will."

Morning Prayer

"Good morning Holy Spirit,
Hold me close to You and cleanse me from all that does not belong to me.
Awaken my spirit and let me see Your glory today.
Restore in me that which the world tries to steal away.

Renew my mind and let me see Your face.
I tremble at Your Word so change me.
Paint my life with the colors of Your Spirit.
Draw me into Your presence with and allow me to see others as You see them.

Every morning Your love is new.
Let me arise today closed in Christ's strength and power.
Stir my heart with Your Holy flame.
Carry me along by the winds of Your Spirit.

Do not leave me where I am at but take me to the secret place.
Let heaven break forth in song and you break open my heart.
Silence the noise of the world and pour Your love over me.
Your grace has set me free.
Amen."

Evening Prayer

Lord. teach me to listen to my heart.
Teach me to listen to my emotions.
Teach me to listen to the rhythms of Your Spirit.

Lord, here I am.
Take all my doubts, restlessness, and discontentment.
Take my loneliness, my wounds and consecrate my Soul.

Lord, keep watch over me in the morning.
Guard my thoughts in my sleep.
Take me through the day in Your strength.

Lord, break my pride,
shrink my uncertainties,
enlarge my wonder.

Speak to me in the silence,
quiet my soul in the moment,
carry me in my weakness.

Lord I am forever Yours.

The Holy Spirit Got Rhythm

"Faith is drowning in a torrent of God's love"  -  A. J. Swoboda

God want both our mind and hearts, our skills and our spontaneity.  God wants to lead us into the rhythms of His Holy Spirit.  This is the place where we find peace rather than anxiety.  This is the place where we find forgiveness rather than nursing wounds.  This is the place where we find unity rather than isolation and division. 

God wants our faith to be black and white but too often it is only white.  Why is it that black people worship God louder and more rhythmically than white people?  Why do black people dance like there is a God and white people hardly dance at all, at least not in worship. 

A. J. Swoboda powerfully says, "African American churches meet for three hours to be reminded that they're something.  Anglos worship an hour because they have been telling themselves all week that they're everything and can only handle one short hour a week being reminded that they're nothing" (A Glorious Dark, p.75).

Prayer of Surrender

"O Sovereign Lord,
My tears rise in ceaseless prayer to You.
Your hidden presence and eternal knowledge is everywhere.
You are my treasure and I am in the grip of Your providential hand.

Lord and Majestic King,
I weep with others and I can rejoice in You.
I am no longer bound to earth as you lift me to heaven.
You give me Your all as I give You my all.

Let me hear only your Word as You drown out the words of the world.
Baptize me with Your Spirit and clothe me in the wardrobe of Christ.
In silence I heard You and in darkness I saw You.
Move me Lord as you would move a leaf blowing in the wind.
Teach me O Holy Spirit to walk by Your breath."

Where Are You?

"The Lord called Adam (in the garden) and said to him, "Where are you?" - Genesis 3:9

Sometimes its the simple and little questions that are the hardest to answer.  God still asks the haunting question, "Where are You? and we keep stuttering.  Why are we not in God's garden of perfect love?  Why do we continue to hide from God and others?  Why can't I speak my secret sins out loud to others?  Why do I keep finding discontentment in my search for contentment?  Out of the silence these words arise from within:

Who pilots your soul?
Which direction does your life flow?
How far have you progressed on this journey of faith?
Have you entered into God's holy gate?

Are you building your life on wood, stubble, and sand?
Do you have a solid place to stand?
Are your thoughts constantly filled with disturbance?
Can you feel the wind of God's turbulence?

Have you arrived at the place of rest?
Or are you exhausted and can't catch your breath?
When grace arrives, all becomes still,
for all the doors of heaven are opened by His will.
I saw myself disappear in a world of fear and pain,
only to suddenly discover one word from God takes it all for my gain.

Chasing After Geese

We all have our addictive or obsessive tendencies and problems.  Mine is sloth and trying to hide and escape watching television or movies.  Our additive tendencies isolate us from others and some are certainly more destructive than others.  Addictions are like a migrating disease.  If you try to get rid of one, the addiction will flock to another area of your life. 

Addictions are like geese flying from one area of our life to another turning our inner lakes into cesspools.  The vicious cycle perpetuates itself because addictions and the many hidden ways we try to escape and cope are our little ways we try to control our lives and world.  The problem is we are not supposed to be in control, God is the one who rules and reigns, not us.

Like the old Steve McQueen movie "The Great Escape," what are you trying to escape in life?  The only way to truly escape is thru the cross of Christ.  Notice Jesus was offered a sponge of wine to take away and numb some of the pain and escape the hurt he was feeling.  On the cross, Jesus endured it all.  Jesus first miracle was making wine at a wedding but now at the cross, he  rejected it in his suffering.  I know I would have taken the sponge.  In the cross we learn how to escape all our escapisms.

(Reflections from reading A. J. Swoboda A Glorious Dark)

Descent of a Warrior Poet

All who wake to paradise leave all pettiness behind.
What was once troubling is now quieted and at rest.
Outwardly the body is perishing but inwardly the soul is flourishing.
God uses our past as kindling wood for a new future.

God is purging us as we advance in exercising our souls.
I am descending quickly so I may arise slowly gazing at resurrection.
My consecrated flesh is weak but God is making steady what is unsteady.
My flesh is nailed to a cross as my soul sings to God.
All consuming light pierces my soul with revelations of God's love.

I can not reach beyond my touch but heaven reaches for me and touches my spirit.
Everything is eclipsed by the radiant Son who knows all about pain and suffering.
My heart is drunk on the wine of the Spirit as God caresses my soul.
Burst forth light of love and cast away any darkness.
In tears of joy I am moved by the love of One who is unmovable.

Beauty calls my name and I do not have to be afraid anymore.
God is constructing a new edifice of prayer to calm the storm within.
Let me see the whole world in the tiniest grain of sand.
I am poured out like liquid but filled with fire.
This holy communion is what I am made for.

The Miracle of Emmaus 2015

"If someone truly repents, he will not escape the path of intercession" - St. Silouan the Athonite

I just got back from working a weekend spiritual retreat for men called an Emmaus Walk.  This is a kind of God loves on you greatly through the church.  If one remembers the biblical account, there is a conversation on a road by two of Jesus disciples with the resurrected Lord.  They did not know who they were talking to at first but think if they did.  A conversation in the middle of nowhere with a dead man!  I would put that in the category of a miracle.  Here are some miracles I witnesses at this Emmaus men's walk.

1.  God would not leave me alone about bringing the NF music video "Wake Up."  I knew they would not show it but God would not leave me alone so I brought two copies of it.  They did not show it but one leader took the second copy and said it was exactly what he was looking for in showing to a group of people.  Who would of known?  I sure did not.  I am waking up to God's love.  I am waking up to the prophetic as I heard God speak through others this weekend.  I am waking up to the miraculous as I saw several people experience healing both emotional and physical, including myself.

2.  We will miss miracles if we are not paying close attention to what God is doing.  We will miss both miracles of faith and prophesies of truth without even knowing or realizing it.  It was wonderful on a overcast and cloudy day to sing the song, "Unclouded."  God's Spirit was so heavy in the room that I knew even though it looked like the sun was not even going to shine that day, that we were singing a song of prophesy.  The sky would become completely clear and the sun would come out.  Actually, later in the day their was not a cloud in the sky.  We were experiencing and witnessing an unclouded day.

3.  Speak words that come from heaven and don't just speak your own words.  Heavenly words break open hearts and set captives free.  Heavenly words open blind eyes and removes veils of darkness.  Heavenly words lead to prayers of confession and changed lives.  We kept on speaking heavenly words throughout this weekend and I saw a closet alcoholic set free from addiction.  I saw a father set free from sloth as he confessed his weaknesses and vowed to be a spiritual leader to his wife and children.  I saw God shake the heavens and answer prayers.

4.  Emmaus is all about partaking of holy communion every day during this retreat.  It is about entering into the Eucharist life where Christ is present and represented over and over to one another.  This Eucharist life overflows into incarnational living of dying to self and discovering new life in Christ where one experiences heaven on earth.

5.  I waited in a prayer chapel not knowing why I was still there.  A desperate hurting man came in and ask for prayer.  He was in immense pain.  I prayed for his ankles and knees while another brother came in prayed for his upper body and his headache.  When we were done praying, he was noticeably better.  What I did not realize was as I called for God's fire from heaven to come down and heal this man's knees, God was healing my knees which have been messed up for six months.  I am such a mess but God continues to heal me in my mess.

6.  There was the atmosphere of the miraculous all weekend long.  Why, because there were people praying not stop in the prayer chapel.  There were people who had signed up that were praying twenty-four hours a day for this entire retreat.  There was a kind of electricity in the air as God spoke to us all in holy moments.

7.  Lastly, when the retreat was over, everybody simply goes home.  This Emmaus walk ended differently this year.  We all took a long hike up a hill to a lake to see one of the men be baptized into Christ.  He was so full of the Spirit that after he was baptized, he could barely stand.  God was doing a profound work in this man's life and all those who were there were bearing witness to it. 

Pray about Everything, Worry about Nothing

"Flood my soul O Lord"

This is the last entry in my journal on my trip to Mexico which ended on a side trip to South Carolina for my daughter.  This was the seventeenth journal entry as now I have completed reading two of Madame Guyon's books, one her autobiography and the other on jumping into the river of God.  This river of life and spiritual torrents is where I sense God is taking me to go further and deeper.

In light of all the events that happened on vacation and what is coming up, here are some of my thoughts for the day.

1.  I saw a Classical Christian education aiming for excellence for God as it teaches children and youth how to be both creative minds and spiritual warriors for God.  I was surprised to see not only how different and superior this educational model is to the public school system but even to the Christian school system which often models itself after the public school system model.

2.  I am currently working on a Lilly Grant for a three month sabbatical.  If I should graciously receive this grant, I will travel to about ten different monasteries in Europe.  I am preaching through the book of Daniel at the moment and I am dreaming big, praying hard, and thinking long about a good many things.

3.  There is a revival at a church nearby in Columbus Indiana where I hear great testimonies from people who are experiencing times of refreshing.  I went and met the pastor of that church and had a wonderful talk with him.  Pastor Randy told me to listen to those who speak prophetically and as a pastor, I should build an atmosphere, climate, and culture that is going all out for God.  I heard God's voice speaking through this pastor and I can't wait to see what God does next?

4.  I just finished an Emmaus walk which I will talk more about and I am planning on going to Camp Electric this summer with my two boys.  Emmaus is all about not anticipating and taking things as they come and yet I sense something great coming this summer that is quickly approaching.  When I left to go home from vacation, I saw a sign on the wall of the young couples house we stayed with.  The sign said it all, "Pray about everything, worry about nothing!"

The Third Mansion

This is the place where one is taught to be humble by God and wear the robe of humility.  We gain confidence in God as we worry less about the things of the world.  Not even the Devil can steal our joy unless we give it to him.  This is the place of movement where the Holy Spirit orders our steps and leads our lives.  Our will, emotions, and heart become steadfast and at rest in Christ.

During the stay in this mansion, God will again test us.  The tests will be both small and large and we will fail one and pass another and we will pass one and fail a different one.  This is spiritual training ground of the soul.  Peace becomes more a way of life as anxieties begin to fade and lose their grip on our lives.  Our hearts are so filled with gratitude that we are constantly moved with thanksgiving to God.

This is the place where God is stretching my soul.  One feels both comfort and distress, a sense of lost-ness and fearless excitement.  Nor do you expect others to be traveling the same road here but it can feel very lonely at times.  But what one discovers is becoming something that one has always been but has never none it before.  It's like waking up to yourself and seeing yourself as if for the first time and nothing will be the same again.

Revelations of Love and the Restoration of All Things

Julian of Norwich provides some of the most powerful and comforting revelations of God's love in her Revelations of Divine Love.  Several times she repeats powerful revelations that every creature will eventually be saved from the fires of hell.  God is not only the Creator, the Divine caretaker of the universe but also the cosmic Redeemer and grand Designer and Restorer of all things.  God desires all creation to find its rest in Him

Julian had difficulty reconciling this pervasive universalism with the teachings of the church.  She held in tension and trusted both her revelations from God and the doctrines of the church that instructed her faith.  She did not know how this all worked out or was to be reconciled, she put her trust in God who fully knows and will reconcile all things to Himself.  Even the church must enter into a divine wrestling match with the Holy if it is to be blessed in the end.

The Second Mansion

In St. Theresa's Interior Castle, she describes the second mansion of the soul of a Christian.  It is here we learn that God is our true Lover.  God never leaves us nor forsakes us but be warned.  This is the place where we need to take our eyes off ourselves and keep our gaze upon the beauty of God.  Christ takes our attention and His mercy shows us how we can do nothing without Him.

In our spiritual battles with the Devil, there is no better weapon than the cross.  We miss God's will when we resist outward trials for God wants us to posses inward favors.  It is only by holy submission to God's will that we can press forward.  It is not by might or power but by God's Spirit which opens the door to God's kingdom and Christ's peace here on earth.

Contemplative prayer is the place where we just don't know God but we feel God's pleasure and behold God's beauty.  Contemplative helps us see into the Spirit realm what God is doing and how God is aiding us and bringing about the answers to our prayers.

Indescribable Peace and Wild Delight

The great mystics speak about the indescribable with different words describing the same event.  It's called by many names like the beatific vision, the Divine dark, the cloud of unknowing, the portal of heaven to name a few.  The mystic more describes how he feels than what he knows.  Knowing is swallowed up in unknowing.  What is unknown to the intellect is taken hold of by the heart.  What is darkness to the intellect is radiant and bright to the heart. 

God enlarges the heart by deepening the soul.  Some people call this spiritual ecstasy, heavenly raptures, trances, out of body experiences, heavenly visions and transports.  What I call it is being overcome by the Spirit.  None of the categories of the intellect apply to what I refer to as mystic love or Divine love.  This spiritual union of the soul to God will not be known to the heart until we acknowledge that it is unknown to the intellect.

One day when I was in the Spirit, I fully understood what was happening in my mind which continued to reflect, judge, and evaluate everything that was happening.  My body was possessed by another power or force which I had no control over.  My mind could tell my arm or hand to move but it could not respond.  There was a man praying over me who said he could see the Holy Spirit glowing over my whole body except for my mind which was like a dark area.

I originally understood this all to mean that my mind simply could not fathom what was going on spiritually by the natural faculties of the mind.  Although there is truth in this, there was so much more going on than that I now realize.  There is a spiritual darkness to our fallen minds which are so attached to the world that the mind struggles to believe much less interpret correctly the ways of the Spirit and heavenly realities.

God is absolute reality and is ultimately unknowable to our finite minds.  Our intellect is dark in understanding the deepness and depths of the presence of God.  Here was a divine moment and span of time where God anointed and supercharged my body spiritually as God's divine temple.  It was in events like this I encountered God's presence in dimensions I had never experienced before. It was here God began a new work in me that is only now many years later starting to come to fruition.

It was here I felt God's indescribable peace and wild delight.  It was here God stamped on my life, "I am with you always, even to the end of time."  It was here God forever showed me that I am His and I am utterly lost without Him.  It was here God started a new work within me and God always finishes was God starts.

Mystic Communion

My oldest daughter and I drove to South Carolina to look at  Christian school she is interested in.  We drove through a vast storm to get to our destination.  This reminds me that God often will take us through divine storms.  One day the sun is shining and the next day, the weather turns violent on us.  We stayed with a wonderful young married couple who I met the year before in a hot tub on an Alaskan cruise.  Did you know that hot tubs can be places of divine appointments?

We went to an Anglican church service in the evening.  I have never been to an Anglican church before.  I loved the deep liturgy, the rich symbolism, and the scriptures recited throughout the whole service.  Some of the message that was given that night was about glorifying God with our lives and not glorifying ourselves.  This sermon really hit home for me because it's been the message the Holy Spirit has been telling me over and over a thousand different ways.

This Eucharist service was filled with substance, mystery and the Holy.  Here is one very old church tradition that started with closed communion and now has open communion.  The real presence of Jesus being re-represented and acting out death, burial, and resurrection and rising up and ascending to the heavenly places with Christ.  This was the bread from heaven.  This was the blood of Christ in the chalice of redemption.  This was sweet mystic communion!

Mystic Marriage

Spiritual marriage starts with betrothal and leads to marriage vows.  It is a spiritual love between a lover who has returned to the Beloved.  Spiritual marriage begins in the far country but finally makes it way home.  It is the place where lovers lose themselves and become one.

Mystic marriage has taken place when our mind is no longer estranged or separated from the external world.  Thoughts, emotions and will are lost or fused together by the fire of God's love.  It begins with a silent gazing upon God.  Everything becomes focused on one point.  Whether it is a hillside, the starry heavens, or the contemplation of the beauty and grandeur of God's creation.  There is a deepening quietness, a slowing down, a heightened awareness and an intensified look.  The barrier between subject and object melt away.

In mystic marriage, there is a retreat from the many distractions of the world where the many turns into the one.  One moment, one substance, one God.  At this one point, the contemplative mind focuses on one attribute of God, one fragment of Scripture, one image of Christ that has no beginning or end but just is.

The soul enters paradise with God while at the same time shutting the door to all the things of the world.  By possessing nothing one posses all.  By empting oneself completely one is full of peace and tranquility.  One loses the adult "I" and becomes a little child again held close in the arms of our Heavenly Father.  It is in this silent marriage vow that pure love is consummated in our soul.

Spiritual Exercises

Just like one does various physical exercises to strengthen one's body, so there are spiritual exercises to strengthen one's soul.  Self will is to give way to the Divine Will and self love is to give way to Divine Love.  If an athlete must have adequate training to compete in the athletic games, so our soul must be trained in righteousness to be spiritually fit and ready for God's divine orders.

It is through spiritual exercises we learn to allow the dark fire of God's love and transparent light of God's heart to penetrate the darkness and hardness of our own hearts.  We have kept in step for far too long with the world's rate race and have forgotten how to keep in step with the great rhythms of God's grand universe.

Whereas physical exercise is usually focused on self-improvement, the focus of spiritual exercises is on the death of self and doing selfless acts of love for others.  It is centered in God's grace and power and not our own works or power.  This total dependence on the Holy Spirit sets a person free to love with the very love God gives to us. 

Just like one must stretch and prepare to physically exercise, there are spiritual stretches of the soul a person needs to do to be fully prepared to go deeper with God.

1.  First we meditate on our own weaknesses.  Until we come to the end of ourselves and know we can do nothing without God, our best efforts will fall short.  We need God's help even for the smallest matter.

2.  Secondly, we ask God with great humility.  It is God's grace that aids us to come to Him alone.  When we cast ourselves at Jesus feet, it is there that God begins his greatest work within us.

3.  Third, distrust your own strength and the powers of your own reasoning abilities.  Our rational mind will hinder us into experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ because it wants to be on the throne and desires to be in control.  Until we abandon ourselves and even our own strengths, then we will learn what it means to rest in God's love and strength.

4,  Fourth, contemplate the infinite wisdom, power, and goodness of God.  A balance of fear of ourselves and a hope in God is what truly nourishes the soul.

5.  Fifth, do not judge rashly.  Have compassion on others and do not see yourself as any better than anyone else.  Acknowledge that you are but dust and ashes and consider others better than yourself.

6.  Sixth, do not conceal anything and confess everything.  Surrender everything to God and put no confidence in your own flesh nor give yourself any credit when there is tangible gain.

Into The Deep

The ocean is unbounded and unending full of mystery.
One is surrounded on all sides by the waters as far as the eye can see.
There is a quiet and calm peace as the waves ripple across the surface of the deep.

One can get lost in the wide vastness of the ocean.
One can also get lost in the ocean of God's love.
When the ripples of God's Spirit hover over the waters.
Deep calls to deep as the undercurrents of God's love pulls everything in its direction.
There is nowhere to run,
there is nowhere to hide,
for the ocean is everywhere.

Just like the circle of the horizon spans the skies,
so the circle of God's love overflows all and cannot be contained.
Few brave souls dare to swim and go deep into the deep blue darkness.
Will you dare to go into the deep heart of God's unending ocean of life and love?

The Heresy of Schism

Many Christians think of heresy as wrong belief or doctrine.  In the early church, heresy of the worst sorts was that which divided or separated the catholicity and unity of God's people (the church).  There are not only outward divisions between one brother and sister in Christ from another but there is also inward divisions of the heart.  God hates a double minded person or one whose loyalties and heart is divided.

Our problem today is it seems we don't to not notice the inward heresies of the heart.  The places we are separated from within that also leads to separating from others from without.  The hidden secret idols, the many places we are distracted that keeps us from being centered on God with an undivided heart.  Let us not forget the truth of God's Word that applies not only to the church but also to our interior lives, "a house divided against itself cannot stand."

As I reflect about our time during this cruise as a family, I am reminded that life is like a game of chess.  Our family spent some good togetherness on this cruise to the Caribbean.  On this cruise ship there was this giant chess game where you moved these giant chess pieces on this large chess board.
Life is a priceless gift from God and the way we combat heresy of separateness is by the gift of humility.  Humility is like the Queen which is the only way to checkmate the Divine King.

Visions from the Desert

The desert is a dangerous place.
One can die in unquenchable heat of the day,
or freeze to death in the silent cold of the night.

The desert is full of mystery
and life and death struggles.

It is in the desert that battles are won or lost
where one advances towards God or retreats away from God.

In the desert one is stripped of every false pretense
and even dies a thousand times over to one's preferences.

This place where self is extinguished
where one posses nothing except God is in the desert.

The burning heat of the desert is like sweet fire
where heaven invades our soul.

One finds in the desert that there is no room for independence
for the only space left to survive the desert
is absolute trust and complete dependence on God.

God's fiery heat protects and provides and even feeds
as if it was like the food of angels.

Heavenly manna now burns our stomach
when earthly cravings were never satisfied before.

What one learns in the desert is the conquest of oneself.

Visions from the Garden

By no effort of my own I was strangely pulled into God's garden. 
My restless heart stopped at the beauty, color, sights and sounds. 
Hidden light filled the garden with shining brightness. 
The sparrow of the Spirit sang love songs to all of God's creation. 

My spirit was suddenly awakened like a blind man who opened his eyes for the first time. 
I was no longer a separate being from God's creation but a part of the celestial choir all in unison shouting forth the glory of God for all to hear.

Everything was like crystal glass in God's garden. 
There was no hiding, no protecting, and nothing was concealed. 
Everything was transparent everything was bathed in a rainbow of God's love. 
Everything was filled with candescent light for everything in the garden was filled with God. 

Each blade of grass glowed with the fire of God. 
The trees bowed to worship and the air was filled with scent,
something smelling like sweet perfume.  
Joyous sounds everywhere filled the garden. 
One could not tell where the sound came from or where it was going. 

All was one in the garden. 
The gaze of love surrounded everything. 
The shadows of angels danced around. 
All of creation blended together into one voice into a song of holy joy.  

Trinitarian Detachment

When the fire of God's love burns, strips, and peels away all our material attachments, we enter into a life of Trinitarian detachment.  Trinitarian realities are all around us with those who have spiritual eyes to see.  There is a poverty of spirit that takes us into a life of humility.  There is a purity of heart which cleanses our soul from all the negative and destructive ways of thinking.  There is an obedience of the will which abandons itself to God with complete surrender to the Divine Will.

This is the place of abandonment of all outward things so our sole occupation is the inward journey toward God.  By giving away all things we gain everything.  We release all that divides us so that we many enter into the undivided heart of God.  In Trinitarian detachment we discover humility, surrender and intimate love.  We find the inner poet, prophet and peacemaker.  We come to know more of God intimately.  Time is therefore rightly divided or ordered by a beginning, a middle and an end because God is all these and more.

The world is full of goodness, beauty, and truth.  A person has a body, mind and spirit which makes that person a living soul.  Julian of Norwich says in her Revelations of Love are full of Trinitarian visions.  She says that life is make up of three properties. 
The first is God made it. 
The second is God loves it. 
The third is God keeps it.
God is the Maker, Keeper and Lover.

This Trinitarian reality is like the Divine blueprint or a kind of Divine mathematics that orders the universe.  Our whole life is in these three.  Julian says our being, our fulfilling and in our increasing.  The first is nature, the second is mercy and the third is grace.  For in the end, God is above all, through all, and in all.  In this three-ness we enter into God's oneness.  We enter into the unity of heavenly fire, heavenly light and heavenly Spirit.  God's heavenly kingdom comes to earth as the Heavenly Jerusalem and we partake fully of the Divine life.

There is a dazzling darkness of God which is the Father's radiant love.  There is the ceaseless beauty of the glory of the Son.  Finally there is the joy unspeakable of the fullness of the Spirit.  The only power that can unchain and move us away from the things of this world is the incomprehensible Trinity whose unmoved being steadies our heart and transforms us in a heavenly creature on earth.  When this happens, all creation turns into the garden of God.  Our deepest longings for paradise are boundless in the grandeur of Trinitarian oneness with God.

God intoxicated

The world says the only way to have fun is to be drunk  on wine.  God says the only way to posses joy is to be drunk on life in the spirit.  Friends toast the spirit of the age and they sip to the appetites of the world.  But the chalice of God's Spirit is not to be sipped but is to be drunk deeply of this sacramental communion.

The world does not hesitate to drink fully of fleshly desires.  Why do we hesitate to drink fully of the heavenly wine of life?  Nothing fills the soul with sweet gladness more than entering into the wondrous presence of God through contemplative prayer.  When this happens, the fire of God's love burns away the pollution of the world and deflates our world of pride and self.

The world tries to intoxicate us with the inflation of self.  The world says the only thing worth occupying is yourself.  When we meditate and contemplate God, we lose ourselves in God and the whole world becomes a holy sacrament.  The deeper we become God intoxicated, the greater heaven comes to reside in us on earth.  The more we are crushed by God beneath all things, the more spiritually we will arise far above all things.

(I wrote these words two weeks ago in my spiritual journal while I was on a cruise to Mexico with my family.  These words are especially relevant to me today as I write them down here because today I was God intoxicated with another wonderful brother in the Lord.  We were simply walking down the hallway and suddenly the Holy Spirit came powerfully upon us.  God's Word about not being drunk on wine but on His Spirit resonates even more with me today)

Visions from the Mountain

When you experience the wound of Divine Love, God takes you from the mountain to the valley to act on the heavenly vision he gave you on the mountain.  St. Francis gazing at the cross heard God speak these words to him, "Repair my church."  This vision totally changed the direction of Francis life to one of simplicity and poverty for the sake of others.

On the Feast of St. Agnes, John Suso sat alone perplexed when suddenly his soul was raptured into ecstasy.  There was a shining brightness and joyful sweetness.  He fell to the ground like a dead man but inwardly he was full of heavenly delights.  Many times when we read accounts where people are taken up to the mountain of God, they are forever changed by God's presence.

The mountain is the high place where God meets you and takes you higher than you have ever been before.  On the mountain God moves faith to even move mountains.  Even the mountain can be leveled if it stands between you and God.