The Deeper Journey

"Lord, here is a soul who exists only for you.  Show me your presence of heaven on earth"

I know I am weak.  I know I have little power or strength.  I know the power of evil and temptation and yet I rest in the safety of God's loving arms.  I have an unshakable hope in Christ.  God is taking me on a deeper journey into surrender.  God is turning my will to His will so that I want to will God's will.  God is taking me deeper into His heart.  God is leading me to still waters to restore my wayward soul.  God is my strong fortress deep within.

God is doing a deep cleansing and healing at subterranean levels.  Christ's will determines my actions.  I have been too easily distracted and divided and now God is making me constant and steadfast.  "My heart is stead fast O God and my eyes are fixed on You."  I am finally learning that to be cured means to be slain by God.  One can not truly happen without the other.  God wants us to learn to carry the heaviest cross in peace.

God is preparing us for a holy uprising where people are immersed in His grace.  Where we are so ruined and desperate while we hunger and thirst after God more than the food we crave.  We are either going deeper into God or we are retreating from God?  Even when I feel like I am way over my head, Daddy God will not let me drown.  He is there letting me struggle and when I am exhausted, I have no where else to go but to Him.

How often do we define ourselves by our catastrophes?  I am sick.  I am disabled.  I am an addict.  I am divorced.  I am unemployed.  I am a failure.  But God defines us by His favor.  God calls us, always keeps His promises, and grips our life with His grace.  We think life is all about happiness or dealing with suffering where the only thing that really counts is walking by God's Spirit every day.  In my sufferings I find both myself and God.  The more I die the more I find life in Christ.

So God is taking me deeper.  I am going deeper in prayer, deeper into God's love, deeper in community and deeper into Christ.  I am aiming at praying without ceasing, loving without ceasing, living the eucharist life every day in holy communion with other Christians as I put myself under the direction of a spiritual mentor.  I am like a dead person raised again yet unbound from the grave clothes.  The only way to go higher with God is to go deeper with God.  Go deeper!