St. Theresa wrote a beautiful book called the Interior Castle. This is about the interior mansion of the Christian soul and the many rooms we explore in the castle of our own soul. My boys were so excited the NF's new Mansion songs were coming out today. My youngest son played me the lyrical words of the Mansion song which inspires these words.
"Reality is not as it used to be.
Everything is so confusing and falling apart.
How can one find the answers to life if one does not know the questions?
It's like I have overslept and missed out on life.
I chase after perfection which is like a phantom and a ghost.
I'm trapped in the inside and nobody knows me from the outside.
My mind is like a mansion with many rooms.
The rooms are covered with dirt and dust because they have been empty for a long time.
Rarely do I enter these rooms because I choose to stay in the rooms that are familiar and inviting.
The truth is I really don't want to change.
Because I don't want to change, do I really fear God?*
I wish things were clearer but I can't see through all the dust on the mirror.
It's easier to keep the doors shut and locked so that nobody can get in.
Some people want to burn the whole world to the ground rather than let the light in.
There is fear everywhere and the truth is locked up somewhere deep inside of me.
My mind is a mansion with walls covered in pain.**
I try to hide my pain so that nobody will see.
I try to cover my tracks so that nobody will know.
I try to repaint the walls so that nobody will see the cracks.
I can not leave the mansion I have created for me.
There is so little room in my soul for it is so full of my stuff.
I struggle to know who I really am?
Is God there, what is God to do with the best I am?
He is watching, waiting, and looks right through me.
I shudder, I'm full of fear, what if I surrender and disappear?
My mind is a mansion with many rooms.
Will I dare to let go of myself and let God in?"
*Psalm 55:19
**NF quote where he said "house" instead of "mansion."
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