Benedictine Monastery: Day Three

Practicing the Benedictine spirituality is a life of contemplative silent prayer, singing the Psalms, practicing 'Lexio Divina' scriptural meditations, and immersing oneself in the writings of the patristic fathers.  All of life is to be lived and worked as a prayer to God.  Above all, prayer is not asking God for things but learning simply to pray is to be in the presence of God.

I started this spiritual retreat reading Hans Urs Von Balthasar "My Work in Retrospect" and I ended the retreat by finishing the book.  Here is how Balthasar ends his work:

1.  We all start with a reflection on the situation of man. We quickly discover that we exist as limited beings in a limited world.  We are not God and God has no need of the world.  But if God has no need of the world, then why do we exist?

2.  God is love and created us in the freedom to love in God's image. God created us as personal beings who need love and communion.  God reveals himself to us by his Word and Spirit.  Human reason must be open to the infinite and transcendent.  Human knowing is always partial and limited.

3.  The One, the True, and the beautiful all surpass reason and point to transcendent attributes.  God is One and love and makes all things beautiful. Man exists only by interpersonal dialogue. Why then deny speech to being itself?

4.  God is not silent and speaks. God mystically meets and communes with us.  Like an epiphany, God appears! God enters into an alliance with us, a covenant where we do not chase after other gods and idols.  How can God come and make himself understood to man?

5.  The Holy Spirit and Christ's incarnation of love makes us one with God, ourselves, all people and the whole cosmos of creation.  Trinitarian love disrupts our divisions and binary thinking and leads us into fullness and peace with reality.  We enter the divine life through the Son of God who is the eternal icon of the Father.  Our response is simply humble surrender, honest transparency, and vulnerable love.

Benedictine Monastery: Day Two

God woke me up at 4am and heaven and earth collided in mystic joy of prayer.  I had breakfast with a scientist who was seeking after the mysterious unknown.  I sensed his science was not answering his present questions and possibly he had a mystical experience that did not fit into his closed system worldview.  Could it be he is running after what he does not know as he is haunted by the ghost of God?

Another gentleman in my retreat talked about Mother God Sophia.  Here is a man possibly trying to get in touch with the feminine side of God. God is Spirit and beyond gender but maybe some people need God more as Mother than Father? This reminds me of the movie "The Shack" where God shows up in the movie as a black woman.  All I can say is God meets us in the moment and where we are at and reveals as much light as we can accept by his mercy. James 2:13 says "mercy overcomes judgment."

I went to my first confession today. I shared my pain and heart with an 80 year old priest.  I prayed Psalm 149 & 150 and gave contrition for my sins. He simply shared his love and smiled at me the whole time as if I was giving my confession to Christ himself!

Benedictine Monastery: Day One

God is calling me to a life of complete surrender and peace. To learn to be content in all circumstances and to listen to the intuitions and movements of the Spirit of God throughout the whole day.  God is calling me to a contemplative lifestyle where I live an incarnational life and ask the Holy Spirit into every decision of the day.  Every new day is an opportunity to invite the Holy Spirit in the present moment.

At Supper, I met a Reformed minister whose life parallels mine in so many ways. He loves church history, the catholicity of the church and faced many of the same challenges I do in my relationships and life.  I could not help but feel God put us providentially together for such a time as this!  Discontentment, apathy, fear, anger, anxiety have filled to many of the last days of this month.  God is calling me out of the dark abyss into the light and freedom of rest in Christ. Is it possible that facing the worst moments leads to life's best?

In the empty silence of the monastery is the naked Spirit of God healing my overburdened soul and leading me into Holy communion.  After darkness comes light and crucifixion comes resurrection.  God is making all things new and God is making me new. Alleluia!