"Sin is simply a turning away from Divine love" - St. Silouan
Spiritual discernment is entering into the rhythms of God's creation where one begins to see the interconnectedness of life. It is spiritual awareness and spiritual listening. It is quiet contemplation and the practice of simply slowing down and being still. Several spiritual disciplines that is like medicine to our soul is lection divina (spiritual reading), visio divina (spiritual gazing) an audio divina (spiritual listening). The whole purpose of spiritual discernment is to see the love of God in everything.
In the midst of my inner turmoil and pain of feeling a deep sense of abandonment and God purging and cleansing my soul, I felt strongly led to buy the book The Enlargement of the Heart by Archimandrite Zacharias which is about the life and teachings of Saint Silouan the Athonite. I also have been taking communion with others almost every day and have a new wonderful spiritual director who happens to be an Eastern Orthodox priest. What has been both scary and exhilarating is this spiritual purging process that St. Silouan calls, "Keep Your Mind In Hell and Despair Not." It's like I have been in hell with God all at the same time which to say the least has been a very strange and unsettling experience.
What Silouan's wonderful teachings is confirming in me how God is removing my distractions, my worldly attachments, and my pride which keeps getting in the way of everything. Things that usually bother me are not disturbing me and I am starting to have a strange peace about everything. My mind can not catch up to my experience of what is going on but I believe my heart is being enlarged by the heart of God. I am going deeper into repentance and humility and I am losing more of myself to God. One would think this all sounds wonderful and great but far from it. I have felt so unbalanced, uncomfortable, and the inner battles of my mind have been so intense. Death of self and confidence in God do not come easily. Everything that is worthwhile is costly and must be fought for inch by inch. For St. Silouan, it's all about the Holy Spirit leading us into the perfection of God.
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