Spiritual Torrents

"Plunge into the river of God and be prepared to be swept away"

I have been reading spiritual classics and some of the great mystical writers who prayed and lived in such a way that makes us look pale in comparison today.  I have been reading people like Meister Eckhart, Madame Guyon, Theresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, Francis of Assisi, and Elder Porphyrios to name a few.  They challenge me every step of the way on my spiritual journey in how much I am not like Jesus and how radically in love they are with Jesus.

Saint Francis was so humble and bowed to authority that when he saw corrupt Bishops, all he could see were spiritual leaders who were like the very icons of Christ to him.  Many of these saints dealt with maladies and health issues that somehow drove them closer to the cross of Christ which they joyfully embraced.  Saint Theresa was denounced from the pulpit by a priest and all she did in response was laugh. Why?  Because why would a priest waist his time denouncing a nobody like her?

I realize how prideful, how comfortable, how selfish I am to these saints.  And even they would say don't look at them, look to Christ who is the only perfect one to measure your life by.  So God is flooding my soul with beauty, awe, and wonder.  God is immersing me into deeper waters of His life giving river of eternal life which it feels like one will drown or die, which is exactly the place God wants one to be.  God is taking me by the hand and like a father to a small child, is beginning to teach me all over again what it means to walk by faith and not by sight.  What it means to suffer and what a tremendous gift it suffering actually is.  God is pushing me into the darkness and night of the spirit where his waves and torrents are so unpredictable and purifying to the soul.

Where this all is leading me I do not know?  All I know is there is no going back.  There is no more hiding because there is no where to hide anymore.  There is no more crawling because God's pace is so much more violent and swift that unless one hangs onto God for dear life, one feels like they are literally going to die in the process.  Who said God is safe lied.  Who said God cares about your comfort zone because He doesn't.  Who said God will never give you more than you can handle did not speak the whole truth.  When we are honest, we have all seen God give more than people could handle.  It is only with God in it we can handle it at all and that seems to be the part we forget.

The tide is rising . . . The moon is full and judgment and mercy is just around the corner.  All I know is without God, I can not stand.  Without God I can not walk or even limp my way through life anymore.  Without God I will fall, I will drown, I will fail.  But with Christ, we have already defeated the enemy even when the enemy tries to come at us like a madman and sweep everything away in violent torrents.