After September 7th, I read these post about love (in order of my reading): For the Guys, Introduction, For the Girls on the Burnside Writers Collective. I found it through the site the Merry Monk after one of his essays was posted there.
Anyway, in the article by Jo Hilder for the guys really struck a cord with me, especially this section:
I don’t mean by this “stand for something.” The things you stand for may change over time, as your life weaves in and out of friendships, communities, workplaces, churches, neighborhoods and even families. This is because what we think is important when we are with some people can change when we leave them. Take families of origin for example. One of the first things you do when you leave your folks may be to work out your own priorities, separate from your parents’. As you and your wife move house, change church, leave towns, take new jobs, have children and grow older, what is important to you will evolve, or perhaps become clearer. One of you may even lose faith. This is why it’s more important to be someone who can stand than it is to be someone who can stand for something. You must be able to do it, even when you do not understand why, or what you’re standing for.
- Be a person who stands
There will be times when everything you have believed in is lying in pieces. There will be times when something will happen and you will not know what to do about it. There will be times when the conflict, the grief, the loss, the betrayal, the fear and the unknown will feel overwhelming, and because you are the man, everyone will be looking to you to do something about it. It’s all very well to say that the man has to dream the dream, see the vision, keep the faith, hold the fort, fight the fight and know the stuff. But while you are certainly a man, you are only human. That’s why you need to know how to stand when everything is crumbling around you, including your own vision and ideals.
Standing counts for a lot when everything is falling down. Standing, even if you don’t do or say anything, gives the people in your family a place to go when they feel they are about ready to give in. Standing is what you need to do when your wife is railing at you in anger or crying in pain in your arms. Standing is what you need to do when your child is hurt, and when your teenager hasn’t come home. Standing is what you will do when they tell you all is lost, and when you have to apologise to someone else because you let them down. Standing is often what must you do when you feel like running, hitting, yelling, driving away, breaking something or leaving.
Standing is where your wife needs to find you when she is looking for her place in the world. It will be beside you, facing everything it’s got to throw at the both of you.
This completely has been my discipline for the last couple of years and I did not even know it. Perhaps we think of it as perseverance, but in some respects, the metaphor of standing is better. Interestingly to me, I started standing at work back in July and I can tell you from the physical standpoint, it is one of the best things I have done in a long time! No longer do I have the afternoon lull (read: No nap calling anymore).
When Jesus wept over Jerusalem, he was standing (This can be inferred by the style of writing - When he looked over Jerusalem, etc.). When Stephen was stoned in Acts 7, Jesus was standing. Hm, God standing...
We are the part of creation that stands, that looks out, that sees far off into the distance and to the future.
In none of these thoughts do I think of sitting.
